Lately I’ve thinking about how Jesus tells us to come to him as children.
And I look at my son, at other children, how they fling themselves headlong into life–
Barreling forward, joyfully or cautiously depending on their nature,
But onward they go, with no fear or flinching about what might lie ahead.
In the beginning, we have no notion of disappointment.
We don’t sit around thinking about all the ways our lives in the future could go wrong.
We barely think a day into the future.
We dream and imagine and play and pretend and our mind’s capacity for good in our future is endless.
We are wide-eyed, fully anticipating happiness to come.
We have no reason to believe anything less.
Even if our circumstances are dire, we don’t know any different.
We are accepting of our situations and trusting of our caretakers, even if they don’t deserve it. As we grow we discover that maybe there is another way, maybe there is better.
We separate ourselves from harmful or abusive situations as we learn to parent ourselves and be parents, ourselves. And this is necessary and important.
But there is something beautiful in the purity and openness in the mind and heart of a child.
That is something I want to recapture.
That is something I want to be.
Oh, I want to embrace this life, wide-eyed like a child.
Even if I’ve seen too much.
Against all odds.
May I be known as one who looks ahead with joyful anticipation.
This time I choose Wonder.
I choose to trust.
I choose to believe that God is a good caretaker.
I choose to believe that God is for me, not setting me up for disappointment.
This time I choose to re-wire into my brain, into my being, the steadfast belief that I can expect a positive future. Maybe not the one I expected, but one that is really good.
So may I be found here, arms wide, throwing myself headlong into the arms of the Wholly Kind, Ageless, Able One, who is worthy of trust.